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Sorry it's looks so boring. It's the Journal for the month of September 2002. The journal begins at first entry for that month.

2002-09-03 16:16:00

This makes me giggle. Its from one of those emails that says that these are actual lines said in court. Can't find the book so I think it's BS but I think finny anyway. Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere. I have always 'liked' Korn but never really listened to them cause everyone else either did or wanted me to. (I have issues with being told what to do) And I think I am really appreciating them. Very cool lyrics and music. Me like.

2002-09-03 15:53:00 WHAT?!

I really think I'm beginning to lose my hearing. and the fact that I have Korn (funny I haven't eaten corn in ages) blasting in my ears doesn't help. But it's doing a satisfactory job of keeping me awake. The boots are made for walking ... grunt!!! hehehe KMFDM so silly is.

2002-09-03 15:42:00

no stay awake can I must needs sleep and contacts remove from eyes dry as they are. coffee working not. red bull do crave i. on base are none there. le sigh. le pant.

2002-09-03 11:01:00 holy S

Ok, my dream car of the moment is the Porsche Cayenne. Wow this thing is hot. grrr Also I ran into my friend Kurt, who I met on the plane from Australia, and he was showing me his new Mini. This is the more practical car I want. It was sooo cute! I want one. NOW

2002-09-03 10:13:00 oh oh oh

New and noteworthy: The Buffy The Vampire Slayer 'Once More With Feeling' episode cd comes out September 24th. YAY! Anthony Stewart Head has his own CD out. Who knew! Very odd find this weekend was a KMFDM version of the song 'These Boots Are Made For Walking'. It's very very cool and slightly disturbing. Ok very disturbing.

2002-09-03 09:49:00 Work Sucks.

I really need to win the lottery. I'm tired of coming in this office and hearing the same people bitch about the same things everyday. Sigh. I hope that’s not me. Anyway, it was a pretty nice weekend. Friday I left early and got new glasses and contacts cause the ones I had were giving me a hard time. So I dropped 535$ on them. Ouch. I remember why I waited so long to get new ones. Jinkies. Then I met up with my good friends Jen and Kelley and went to see my friend Kim Ha in her one act at the Silver Spring Stage. There were 5 one acts and Kim's was the fourth. The first three were pretty bad, I don't even remember them. Ah local theatre. Then Kim's, Game Theory, was about these two corporate execs trying to get each other to compromise. Kim was great. The last one was called "For Whom the Southern Bell Tolls" and it was freaking riotous. It was like a sitcom on acid and speed. Laughed my ass off. Then after it all we hung with Kim and chatted a bit and caught up on things. I don't think I had seen her since her wedding. We are all excited to do Ellipsis again in November. After that we went to a party at my friend Mike's house. It was fun but my new glasses were giving me a major headache and I left after like an hour. Saturday was relaxation. I went back to the Renn Faire and drank and hung out and watched shows. I relax so well there. I saw my friend Casey there and we gabbed for a bit. Then I raced home in time to get to My friend Ric's improv show at 8:30. The group is called Under the Beltway and they were really funny. The was the last show of the season, whatever the season is, and I look forward to them next year. After that we went down to Nation and drank and danced some more. Ran into my friend Matt and had a good time. Also re-met this girl Amber who I met awhile ago and we laughed for hours. She is a fucking riot. Made out with various people and then went home around 3:30. Very sleepy. Sunday I tried to sleep in and couldn't do it. I was so annoyed. But I lounged around the house and did laundry until I had to head to the parents for dinner. I got to see my nephew Harrison who is actually getting cuter and cuter but the minute. And it looks like he's going to have red hair! Rock! That was a good time as I don't get to see my brother as often as I would like. Then I went home and vegged. Woke up Monday, early again dammit, and did nothing most of the day. I watched Simpsons on DVD and cleaned my room. It was kinda fun. Then around 3 headed to a friends house and went to a party over in Fairfax. It was this girl Svetlana's birthday (I'm sure I misspelled her name) and there were about 15 people there I guess. Svetlana was a really cool chick, and unbelievably hot too, and she has these three AWESOME rescued Greyhounds. They were so cute. Then I went to rehearsal, slightly drunk, and had fun there. Then four of us, Lenore, Katie, Ric and I went to Rockbottom in Bethesda and had a drink and talk. That was really neat. Now's it's Tuesday and I had to wake up at 5:30 to take my mom to the airport.. I'm sleepy.

2002-09-04 11:56:00 Theatre is better than sex

Or not. But I think it's strange that I am thinking about the show I saw last night longer than my last sexual experience. Interesting... But seriously, my friend Andra and I went to the Shakespeare theatre and saw the opening night of The Winter's Tale, the opening play of the 2002-2003 season. I really cannot stop thinking about it so let me try and make a complete sentence and put fingers to laptop. The first thing you see when you walk into the theatre is the incredible and odd stage. Its really hard to describe but the wings and the back wall of the stage are covered in reflective panels. The stage itself looks like a wild sea stopped in mid tumult making you wonder how they can walk on such a thing. As the play being there is only a piano seemingly built into the stage and a chair. The costumes are outstanding and regal and, later on, quirky. Here is a quick and hopefully correct synopsis: The King of Sicilia, Leontes, believes that his wife is having an affair with the King of Bohemia, Polixenes. Leontes confides his suspicion to his courtier Camillo that Leontes wants to poison Polixenes. Camillo tells Polixenes about this and the two flee to Bohemia. Leontes is convinced that his wife, Hermoine, had helped the two escape and brings her up on charges of treason and throws her in jail. At this time he has send messengers to the Oracle asking for the truth in the matter. When, at Hermoine's trial, he hears that she is innocent, he tears up the Oracles message calling it false. For his disobedience to the Oracle, Leontes' son dies and his wife faints and later dies. Leontes, realizing too late that he was being foolish, relegates himself to a life of penitence. Meanwhile, while the Queen Herminone was in jail, she gave birth to a daughter that Leontes was convinced was not his but Polixenes' and so banishes the baby to survive on it's own. So the baby is taken to Bohemia and left there, those who brought it there die by either storm at sea or bear mauling. The baby is found by a sheppard and taken in, her true birth unknown. Sixteen years pass...and Polixenes son is enamored with a Sheppard’s daughter. Polixenes finds this out but when the son, Florizel, refuses to tell his father that he plans to wed the Sheppard’s daughter, Perdita, the king tries to separate the two. Camillo again steps in and sends the two lovers to Leontes' court to escape. Leontes welcomes the lovers with open arms not realizing that the woman is his daughter and when the truth are revealed each family is reunited again and happy. Damn have a meeting - more later

2002-09-05 11:43:00 Oh

Oh, before I forget, again, I remember my new drag name, though I can't take full credit for it and not that I would actually do drag - brett=hairy, which is Helena Handbasket. I'm giddy with antici.........pation. 2002-09-06 17:13:00 How much for the little girl...

Well according to humanforsale.com I am worth exactly $1,910,870.00. I was hoping that I would be worth more than that. Oh well.

2002-09-06 15:15:00 Fridays suck ...

... cause I am always so tired from Nation. I am pooped. Yesterday was a long day anyway. Up at 0600 to take care of the dog, then off to work, rehearsal at 1930 till 2200 then off to the club and back home at 0230. But the club was very cool. They had a band Cruxshadows that were very very cool. I just wish the kind of music they played was more popular in America. As usual it seems America is no in line with the rest of the world on stuff like that. But pick the album up in the like good industrial / gothic music. I am so fucking horny is scary. Tomorrow is Renn Faire again, YAY!

2002-09-08 20:49:00

the moon is beautiful tonight

2002-09-08 20:48:00 One year.

So today I went to one of the most amazing exhibits at the Corcoran Gallery. It was called 'here is new york' and it was the most incredible, touching, horrific, beautiful collection of photographs from September 11, 2001 I have ever seen. Like I said it's at the Corcoran Galley on the second floor in one main room and in the hallway and it's liike no other exhibit I have ever seen. There are wires on the wall and all the photos are hung with metal office clips. In the main room there are small 12 inch flat screen monitors hung in with the pictures, each showing some new scene. The most disturbing one was a video clip of just people eye's as they saw the horror happen. Truly disturbing. I hope that people don't become to desensitized to this whole affair, I think I was even though a day doesn't go by where I don't think about it. There is a huge plaque in the lobby of my office with the names of the people my office lost in the Pentagon. I encourage everyone to go see this display. It will make you angry and sad and hopeful and so many other feelings. It will be there until the 12 of November and I encourage everyone to go to http://www.hereisnewyork.org

2002-09-10 01:01:00

yeah so I should be in bed but i couldn't resist the urge to write a journal entry while i was under the influence of ALCOHOL. And I am munching on Synders Honey Mustard and Onion pretzel pieces. Mmmm yummy. No dinner and three G&Ts makes me a happy boy. So i have been having these really wired feelings while I have been driving recently, like I cant help but see how beautiful the world is and it's getting to the point of distraction. Like the amazing physics that makes a bridge work, i hated physics when i had to learn it but its really cool, the trees, the birds - everything that makes the world so worth living that most people forget to look at cause they are so into the mode of getting to work or so focused on the little things that they forget to see how beautiful everything is. I know it sounds silly and I'm sure I will bitch about something so insignificant tomorrow but at least today I was able to see how beautiful the world is. Laura Bush is a cunt by the way.

2002-09-11 16:43:00

I'm worn out

Wow, so like I didn't sleep at all last night, presumably cause I was stressed about today, have been an emotional wreck watching CNN and watching all the ceremonies. Sigh. Happy Birthday Kelley.

2002-09-12 10:12:00

hehehe


What is your Alter-Ego Personality?

this is my alterego. Go figure.

2002-09-13 18:07:00

why is it almost 6 and why the hell am I still at work? This sucks. For some reason the taskers always come late on a Friday and are always due Monday morning. Arg. Fucking arg. And I may have to come in on Sunday before I go to the play to get it done as well. Good thing is that there are two other people working on it but we all have to get it done. Oh well, at some point I will get out of here and hand out with my friends in the city and have some fun. Hopefully not later then 1900. Oh well, tomorrow is the Renn Fest with my friend Kim and then seeing the play I tried out for, and didn't get, "I Hate Hamlet." I cant wait to see it cause I love it sooo much. Okay, back to it, more later.

2002-09-13 12:35:00 ouch

My head hurts. My allergies are fucking killing me today. SO, my friend Jen turned me on ... to a book (even when I can barely see the monitor cause of blinding pain in my head I'm still 'randy') called 'the people's history of the United States.' It's a fantastic and the writer Howard Zinn has done a great job gathering facts and telling this new expanded view of history. There is an article here that talks about his views on politics and views in the current world environment. Its interesting for me to read this cause I think I am still trying to find my political slant (though I still hate the First Lady) and Mr. Zinn has a very left leaning. I still think he is a genius and I am hungry to read more of his stuff and his writings are refreshing from the usual Pro-Bush bullshit I get at work. Losing the ability to stare at the screen. Stopping typing.

2002-09-16 15:11:00 Monday is Flemish for Snot

I hate allergies. So people have been asking me why I am in such a good mood today. I have no answer. The next assumption is that I got laid, to which I reply with a deep bellowing laugh. But I don't know why I am in a good mood. I have been reading more and more of that book that I mentioned a little while ago, Being Peace, and it's working and I feel better about things. At least for today. I really want to keep this feeling going. I feel ... better sit down for this one... handsome today. Go fig. Who knew. So this weekends recap: (do you all really care? Oh! Oh! Oh wait I have a better one: ask me if I care if you care! NO! LOL!!!!!!!) Friday, Scott, Leah and myself went to the city to hang out and be hipsters. Well, I haven't seen Scott in a while and I want to see him and get dinner in the city. Anyway, we met at his house and then walked into the city. Right around Zorba's (Excellent Greek food) we noticed a crowd. They were filming a scene for The West Wing! How cool. There were so many freaking people there just moving wires and crap like that. I don’t know what they were all doing. I'm sure that a lot were useful but I think that Unions padded a lot. Anyway, I don’t want to get into the union argument...eh...with myself? So, we were there for about an hour and a half and we got to see the filming of a scene with Mary Louise Parker. So COOL! I want to be on TV. Sigh. Then we went to Buffalo Billiards for a drink and then home. Saturday I woke up and was supposed to meet my friend Kim at the Renaissance Faire but because of incredibly insane traffic I didn't make it there until 12:30. I felt so bad but she was there waiting for me looking so cute. I really like hanging out with Kim and we had a good time wandering around and watching shows and looking at jewelry. Somehow I ended up buying a ring... Actually it's a ring I have been looking at the past three weeks. It was a good time and it's always nice to be there with someone who has never been there. Good time. Then I headed home and was unsure what I wanted to do but after a semi-disturbing phone call I drove down to Nation and met up with Jim and Matt. I danced and had a really good time. I am actually liking the place more and more now that I have more people to hang out with. There were also two guys from my office there. One was no surprise but the other one I had no idea. Now I just need to find a way to talk to him when we are on the smoking porch together. Cutie... Sunday was heading into work for a few hours then off to see "I Hate Hamlet" at the Alexandria Little Theatre. A very good production with only a few minor problems. But this was also the show I tried out for a little while ago and it was interesting to see what they had done with it. But I liked it, gave me hope. Then Alice, Marti and I got Chinese food and then it was home to relax

2002-09-17 15:45:00 hehehehehhehh

Okay so this guy on the website Facethejury.com has the coolest most un-PC name. Its a site like hotornot.com. Anyway, it's this black guy and his name is TicklMeNegro. I just had to laugh.

2002-09-17 15:42:00 lets all do the Humpy Hump

If I had done more drugs in my youth I would be able to understand the incredible paranoia I am having today. I keep checking to see if I have a penis growing out of my head cause I am outside and talking to co-workers and people are just staring at me. Why is this so? I am not dressed in a freaky way., as much as I would love to in this god forsaken hell hole. It's totally weirding me out. Arg. And I am still trying to find a way to talk to the guy I saw from work at Nation on Saturday. The 'alternative' day. Course my ... everyone now: paranoia...is that maybe he is one of the military spies looking for military guys (and who isn't) that aren't allowed to go to Nation anymore. He was drinking water... I was find a way... Oh yes I will.

2002-09-17 14:19:00 Ellipsis

Yeah we have the new script for the show! I can't wait to do this one again. The changes, at least to me, are fairly small. I just wish I could find a way to stop working and act full time. I would be so happy doing that, living in a small flat in New York and trying out for things all the time. Sigh. But until I can do that I have Museum and Ellipsis to tide me over. Now I need to start looking for something for the new year. In a side note people are driving me crazy. I know this is going to be hypocritical coming from me but I am tired or people complaining all day to me. Work this, project that, girlfriend this, boyfriend that...I'm getting cranky. I need to be in solitary when I am at the office cause these people are driving me fucking nuts.

2002-09-17 09:51:00

I would just like to point out that I have nothing to say right now.

2002-09-18 14:53:00

There is this door. It's a door where you have to swipe your badge to get through. Its the only door on that leads to where I want to go on my deck. This door is broken again. I swipe and the door won't let me through. This has been happening for the past two weeks. They fix it, it works for maybe two days and it breaks for three days. WHY?! It's just frigging annoying cause then you have to back track, head up the escalators and through the guard post. Its DUMB and annoying. Blah.

2002-09-18 09:08:00

people suck. is it so hard to let me in when my lane is ending? I do it all the time its just plain nice. and this woman was hideous! tiny little head, hair pulled back making it look like she has had a face lift. I just glared at the wench but she took no notice. But the cool guy at the grill this morning remembered me and I got my Ham and Egg muffin faster then other people. He's like my Jay of the grill. LOL

2002-09-19 15:58:00

It is pathetic to be on the Bombay Sapphire mailing list?

2002-09-19 14:52:00

No, I think that Battery is probably better then Damage Inc.

2002-09-19 14:45:00

I hate those days that, for whatever reason, your mood isn't totally up to snuff and the smallest thing someone says pulls you off the tightrope of contentment into the vast darkness of anger and all you want to do is blast something really fast and hard into your ears but you just can't find anything fast and hard enough. The closest thing so far is Metallica's Master of Puppets cause NOTHING can beat Damage Inc or Orion in times of need. I knew I brought Metallica in the office today for a reason. My ears hurt.

2002-09-20 10:57:00 Buzz no more

I haven't really much to say on this cause I hardly went there. I love the music but I wanted to bash heads within a half hour of listening to the screaming kids and big pants. And that’s not me being figurative, I really wanted to kill them, people dancing in spilled blood the whole works. But I am never the less sorry to see that they have to move from Nation. I understand why Nation had to do what they did cause it's not good business for a controversial scene to be there. Sure the more people talk about it the more the ravers want to go but that doesn't make a hoot of a difference if the cops and the US Military are against you. I really think that the military being banned from the club hurt Nation, more than money, but reputation and stature. It sucks that a few stupid things done by a few morons has to hurt everyone but that's the way the government works. They think that if you disallow access to the club that the drug problem will just go away. Kinda explains why Bush feels the need to attack Iraq.... anyway. Bored again and I have to pee

2002-09-20 10:14:00 OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO LOOK!

From dvdfile.com "Oops, one more little announcement... Fox has also set a 1/7 street date for Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Complete Third Season. Specs are not yet announced, but, as always, watch this space!" I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2002-09-22 12:07:00 But I'm A Cheerleader

I love this movie!!!!!!!!!

2002-09-23 12:17:00 Bad touch

Ya know, why do people get so connected to things, or let things affect them so? I'm pondering this as I sit here and listen to Les Miserables and I keep getting misty-eyed during some of the songs. I don't get it. Not that I am ashamed at all, I cry all the freaking time at commercials, old ladies who look helpless at the supermarket, and music. It's odd. And today is a especially empathic day it seems. I keep pulling other peoples feelings to me. Before this starts sounds like some Dr. Phil bullshit I'm going to get lunch.

2002-09-25 13:32:00 BUFFY!

So like last night I finally got to see a buffy episode live, well not on tape, and it was so cool! The beginning of the 7th season l ooks to be really cool. The show was funny and more than anything gave more questions than answers. What was the deal with the girl in the beginning of the show? What was the deal with the end of the show? Was the thing at the end the same Buffy from the beginning of the show? Are I need more buffy! And my friends Kim and Brad lent me the last half of the last season so I am watching those now. I missed it and so when I got home I watch 2 more episodes and didn't get to bed till 1:30. Ooops. I love buffy! The after it was Haunted. Guy almost dies leaves thread to the 'other side', solves crimes. blah blah blah. In other news the play is progressing well. We have a little more that a week until we go up and I am getting excited. Then after that is Ellipsis! YAY Picked up the new Peter Gabriel album - UP. It's so veryveryvery good.

2002-09-26 17:02:00

Ever had one of those days where nothing seems to be going right? I'm trying to finish all this crap so I can build the new version of the database and computers keep crashing and things that would make it so easy to finish this task, just don't exist. Arg. So now I have to find a way to cram more time into my day to get all this done by Tuesday so it can all be integrated on Wednesday. I really want the ability to banish people from my life. I still think that everyone comes into your life for a reason but when those people turn out to be there just to give you heartburn then I think they should be banished. I was reading some of my old journal entries as I was cleaning the other day and it seems like I am a magnet for people who like to talk about themselves and nothing but and all the world's troubles pale in comparison. I know it's natural to talk about yourself but when you go on and on and on and never listen to advice that your friends are giving you then people are going to give up. And it's get me when I meet a new person that wants me to talk about myself and I no longer have the ability to do so cause I have been nodded and yeah'ed to death for lo these many years. I try and talk and they nod. I talk again and it's a quick yeah. Arg. My new slogan: Apathy...whatever... And no this isn't to a person in particular.

2002-09-27 15:40:00

who thought up fisting? I wonder who the first person who was looking at their fist and thought that they had a new and exciting place to put that.

2002-09-27 15:28:00

I'm horny. And I still can't get the attention of the guy from my office that I saw at Nations two weeks ago. He's cute but it would be also nice to have another buddy to pal around with at work. And after work (bow chicka bow wow..) Quote of the minute: "More testicals means more iron"

2002-09-27 15:10:00

ever wanted to pour salt in your eyes and to see what happens?

2002-09-27 11:14:00 Madonnarama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just got the Velvet email and Madonnarama is the 19th of October!!!!! YAY

2002-09-27 11:13:00 Brakes? We don’t need no stinkin' brakes!

Well actually you do if you want your car to stop, as I found out last night. I had just gotten new brakes on Tuesday, for a whopping $917, and I was expecting everything to be all right. Well to tell the whole story, I picked up the car on Tuesday afternoon and the brakes felt spongy. I just figured that they would harden with use. Hey, in my brain that was a great plan. But they never did and with all the cars that I have had in my life I have had to adjust to many new car parts and I thought this was something that I had to get used to. So I was actually getting used to it but then yesterday, in the rain and hell, as I sat in traffic for three hours, I began to think about my brakes and how much closer to the floor I had to push them to get the car to stop. Then an one point I slammed them to the floor and I wasn't stopping. I was scared. So I used what little brakes I had and got to rehearsal and then home afterwards and then called Stohlman VW, where I bought the car and have all my service done and left a slightly nasty message. They called me this morning and had a car towed over and took mine away. I am now wondering how nasty I should be cause that was really fucking scary last night. I like to think that I am a very good driver but what if someone had been driving that didn't know what to do to control the car? It could have been bad. oh well. I lived. About my post from yesterday: Not everyone I know fits into that category I was talking about. You'd know if you didn't fit in.

2002-09-30 14:25:00 The song that won't go away...

I've been having a bad bad day, Come on won't you put that pad away, I'm asking you please no, It isn't right it isn’t fair, There was no parking anywhere, I think that hydrant wasn't there, Why can't you let it go, I think I’ve pain more than my share, I'm just a poor girl don't you care, Hey I'm not wearing underwear.

2002-09-30 13:07:00 So tired....

Well it was a long weekend and not a lot of sleep. I have to stop doing that. LOL Friday a friend and I went to see the Rude Mechanical production of The Tempest. I was quite surprised by the majority of the show. We have a bunch of new people that are amazing. There were two, well three I guess, but they really brought down the whole thing and it was too embarrassing. I'm sure I am a victim of this as well but these people aren't as good as they think they are and need to take a break for a while. Anyway but the play overall was very impressive. I also agrees to be in the next play they are doing for January, Troilus and Cressida. Should be fun. Saturday I stayed around the house and watched a lot of Buffy and cleaned a lot. Was supposed to have a blind date Saturday but that was pushed to next Saturday. I did get out and see 'Sweet Home Alabama' and loved it! I am a sucker that cheesy romantic comedy stuff and the cool things about it was overlooked by the critics. Not that I believe them anyway after all why should some pompous fat life starved dick have all the say? Who choose them as the leader? Anyway, you know the film before you walk in but how they execute it is the cute part and there are tons of funny moments. And the entire cast is freaking hot. Saturday night was Nation. Blah. Sunday was the day from fun hell. Fun cause I was doing play stuff all day, hell cause I was doing play stuff all say and wearing myself the shit out. But I got to hang all the lights and focus them which was rad and it was nice to be able to do something other than just acting. Then we ran the show and did cue to cue and I was there until 10:30 and then talking with my friend Katie until 11:30. I was there from 2:30 to 11:30. I am so freaking tired today. Sigh. But it was fun and the show opens this Friday. I can't wait.

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