Livejournal
2007-02-05 15:11:00
ah what a day.
i'm going to make a comment, just a comment on the state of things and I don't want anyone to overreact. It's just a reflection on the past.
At the utmost suckiness of the sucktacular day that is today, the song that I would think about why I am on the planet and wouldn't it be nice to not be here anymore came on. I laughed. Partially because I'm was thinking about ending it to Enya. Might as well paint myself as the crow and blast metallica and blame heavy metal. I digress. No it's not been a good ... almost 4 months and those precious rays of light as so goddamn few and far between.
Oh well. Back to wishing I could kill people with my mind.
2007-02-14 16:50:00
parking lot
So I think i'm getting my smiley mojo back.
I just met the most wonderful woman in the parking lot of pentagon row and had like a 5 minute conversation. Of course she was the parking lot cashier and for the past few weeks as I've been going to the gym, whenever I get here I smile and wish her a happy evening. There is something about her that makes you want to be nice. So today she was asking me about my valentine's day plans and I said I didn't have one and she said that her plans were busted as well as she had to work until midnight. Then we had a nice chat about how valentines is just a day and that we shouldn't forget the family and friends in our lives that we love every day. It was the sweetest thing.
The other girl is a security guard at my office. Every day I see her she has a smile and actually makes an effort to say hi to those that recongize her. She always brightenes when she sees me and i wish her a happy day and she the same for me. It's just such a nice way to start the day. Even when my morning suck, it's a nice way to brighten the day.
So far it only works on women since men tend to think I'm hitting on them. Meh.
2007-02-14 23:05:00
Secret and Black Christmas
It's so fucking cold. I was just outside letting the dogs out and I stood there listening to the night. The dogs paws and nails scratched on the icy ground, the wind seems to howl through the trees, and the sky was silent. It reminded me of Black Christmas (1974) which I think I mentioned before. A totally creepy non gory scary flick.
Ky once showed me this dvd called The Secret. It's a dvd (and a book) about getting all that you want in life by changing the way you think about things. Nothing is outside your possibility with this system. Small background, growing up I was innundated with all these self help books and stupid seminars when i believe that I was not ready for all that so i fought it all and ignored all that stuff. This is something that is really quite interesting. I was watching Oprah and she had 6 of the people that participate in the Secret and it's such an easy concept. It all seems so simple and i'm sure that people do parts every day. Instead of any negative thoughts, always think positive, find the good in everything, and picture what you want in life and make it happen.
Yeah I sound like a whack job...mmm whack job....but it's really a geat dvd to watch and book to read.
2007-02-14 23:18:00
i just spent a really really long time looking at traffic cameras. I wish my advil PM would kick in
2007-02-18 12:03:00
i need a good hair stylist. Anyone know of one?
2007-02-21 09:10:00
lows
highs
lows
highs
just told a friend that 'everything always works out in the end' and it does i suppose but why is it so damned painful getting there. i'm still very resistant to the, now, inevitable end because i still can't believe that things are not going to go the way I want it to. I so dread this spring and summer as I know that all the things I want to do and like to do will not be nearly as fun no matter who I do them with now because my soulmate/partner/playmate/friend won't be there with me. I hope that in time we can get to a point where we can enjoy coasters and all that stuff again. By the time the good weather hits and the parks open, maybe things, in my mind, will be better. But he is being a dear and wonderful through all this. My hope is that sometime in the future we get back together but I look forward to whatever friendship we create in the meantime.
I was lying in bed last night, at 10:00 pm, since I had to wake up at 5:00am that morning to get to work to avoid the dreaded POTUS, and I was writing poetry in my head. Poetry? Have i sunk so low to do poetry? No offense to Auden and the masters who I love but still, poetry? Ug. Maybe it's because I can't do poetry and I'm jealous. I need to buck up little camper.
Have a reading tonight for a local play called The Link. It a interesting little play, needs a lot of work, but I have the lead. I also have to read a part as a gypsy. I don't know how that will sound but I'm thinking drunk Russian whore. It's at some church somewhere. I really should find out where.
Going to NY this weekend to work a real comic con and hang with Elizabeth and Stu and the wonderfulness that is NY. They are always so much fun to hang with. I think the extradition of Elizabeth to New York is also compounding my mood.
Note to self: end hermitage mode.
All in all, getting my life together is working slowly. Going to the gym is helping and I am definitely getting in shape. Pants fit better and I am feeling stronger. Someone noticed that I my arms have definition. That made me smile. Doing good at finding friends too. At least the friends that don't want to fuck me. Having reconnected with a lot of on line friends through gay.com and such has been nice. Hard to believe that you can meet friends on line that don't want to sleep with you. Hard to believe that you can go to happy hour and not pick someone up especially when all you want to do is make friends. Im trying to get in shape financially. This is proving to be a little harder than working out. Slow fucking process. Getting a promotion, that I don't know about, in March. That should help things.
Now I have a meeting. My life is meetings. At least the three people in the meeting are youthful and fun and not the usual cronies I deal with.
2007-02-22 10:47:00
I am not built for mornings.
Nor am I built for birthing.
I burnt the inside of my lip eating a Boboli pizza.
I love when the Army jogs on base.
If I have to hear more about Britney or Anna Nicole, I'm going to club a baby seal.
I currently hearing my name over the cube walls (time passes) And now i'm tasked to do more work. My raise better be something special.
Enya, Celtic Woman(women) and Loreena McKennit really are relaxing. I still generally hate people and society still but the music moves it from Murder 1 to manslaughter.
Sometimes I really miss smoking.
Congrats to Jason and his wife on their new baby. i don't have a proper email addy and I saw the flickr pics.
2007-02-27 14:57:00
"Holy crap I am tired.
This past weekend I had my first experience at a real comic convention. I was in New York at the New York ComicCon. First off it was a lot less glamorous since I was working the entire time i was there so I didn't have any time to look around and see anything. That was kind of a bummer but I had lots of fun nonetheless. I was helping a friend out at the
booth and we spent all day sat and all day sunday selling raffle tickets and giving away fun cool stuff.
The sights were amazing. There were Stormtroopers and Jawas and Vaders and all kinds of stuff. There was apparently a SW thing going on as well with Ray Park doing a demo of lightsaber stuff. There were spidermen and women and supermen and women and all kinds of stuff. There were lots of people in costume. A lot of them were fairly good. I didn't see nearly as many super fat people trying to be Aquaman (did you know he once had a sidekick named Aqualad who left because doing watersports while underwater made no sense so he left the undersea life to work on the docks and lived a life of rough sailor sex and sardine packing.)
Where was I...so the table we had was right at the entrance of the ComicCon so as we sat there, yelling about the raffle - I am amazed I have a voice - and checking out the foot traffic that passed by. Not surprisingly the majority of the group were mouth breathing bottom-of-the-science-building types but there were a fair amout of normal folks. Lots of families, and seeing a father and son both dressed up in Jedi robes has to be the cutest thing, and surprising about of cute guys and the surprising lack of hot girls. There were some hot chicks but not many.
People in costume also seemed to walk around with undeserved air of superiority. Twats.
And then there was Archie. Elizabeth likes to call him my boyfriend and I just want to cut my penis off. He is a mentally challenged retard who for some reason stuck to me like glue. He had various stories about the time he had the chance to get 20 Action Comics number 1's for 750 bucks. Now consider they, in good condition, go for $400,000 and way up, gives a clue to insanity. He came by the booth no less that 10 times on saturday and 5 maybe on sunday. Sunday he came by and brought me an Archie comic (hence the name) and told me all about the archie folks. We had never mentioned Archie at all but he thought I would like it. Now this guy wasn't a manageable retard that would make you go , awwww, he was just annoying. He had the taped glasses and the dead stare...sigh.
But it was a blast anyway. I saw Jason Mews walk past the table and also the bald guy from 30 Rock. I crashed on E and Stu's house and we had a good time.
enjoyed the snow and had good chinese food sunday and drove home yesterday. good times.
2007-02-27 17:04:00
chocolate covered altoids rock.