Livejournal
2007-01-05 11:39:00
Im in a show.
Well it's a staged reading. But it's really cool.
Its "The Night Thoreau Spent In Jail"
Cedar Lane Stage (small Chapel)
$5.00
Sat Jan 13, 8:00 pm and Jan 14, 2:00 pm
Cast includes: Steve LaRocque, Lyn Peters, Me, Annette Kalicki, Jamie Smith, Kenny Littlejohn, Malinda Smilth, David Dieudonne, Michael Platt...
www.cedarlanestage.org for directons.
2007-01-05 13:05:00
sigh.
2007.
first off i want to say that i'm sorry for not responding to a series of evites, especially Dan and Doug's for new years. I need to get my correct most checked email address out there. Basically if you're using one that has concentric.net in it, it's going to go away. The amount of spam on a 10 year old email account is staggering. But i'm sorry i didn't respond.
I want this year to be something so special and unique. I pretty much fucked up 2006 much worse that I ever thought possible and would like to not repeat that again. I want it to be January 10th 2005 all over again with the knowledge i have now.
I will act more this year. I dont care if i never sleep again, i miss acting more that I thought possible.
I need to find a place to live. Like soon. :)
I need to spend quality time deconstructing my life and patching the kinks that have made me the weak shell of that much stronger man I know I should be.
I need to learn finally the value of friends and that it's okay to call them to hang out.
I need to stop being afraid of trying and just do it. I used to be so much better at that.
Mainly i want to get back something I lost last year. Now that I know it's gone, I realize that there is nothing in the world i want more than to have it back.
2007-01-08 12:41:00
Monday monday.
so i think someone was walking over my grave last night or I have friends coming to visit. I was never good with which old wives tale went with what part of the bod doing something but I certainly had a case of the chills. I was having an amazing dream, that I have since forgotten but I woke up feeling excited about it, and it was one of those dreams that I woke up and then fell right back into the dream. This has been happening a lot recently. But all night i was freezing. What's odd is that I love sleeping in the cold and I usually sleep better that way but last night my comforter and blanket and sheets did nothing and so I kept waking up knowing that I was cold and yet unable to cure the feeling. It wasn't until I was annoyed enough to unplug my laptop and plug in the electric blanket that I realized it was 6 and i had to get up anyway. And now I have bags under my eyes that would make a world traveler proud.
Play is going well. Going to be a short blast but a fun one
2007-01-08 12:43:00
alan rickman had joined tim burton's sweeny tood. ah. SQUEEEEEEEEEE
2007-01-09 10:42:00
I am convinced that all the scales in the world are horribly incorrect. Last time I was at Ky's I got on his scale and it gave me a number that I really really didn't want to see. I had gotten on his scale months before and thought there must have been a mistake. Alas there was no mistake as the scale at Bally's told me the same number. Basically I am 21 pounds over the weight I would like to be. The scale says I'm 196 and I want to be 175 again. 175 was the weight that I was at for most of my life. Needless to say all this is piling on to my depression like pounds on a fat guy. I'm hungry and hence can't be creative. But I am going to the gym, anyone go to Pentagon City Ballys and want a workout partner?, and I may get a session or two of personal training so I get a list of stuff to do. Now I have 4 upper body exercises and one leg exercise and then 25 minutes on the treadmill. I want to be out in no more that 45 minutes because I don't want to live at the gym.
Sigh.
If i can eat better and workout i hope to see results ...soon?...eventually? I don't know how this better living workout thing works.
2007-01-10 08:22:00
Why is Playskool, games for discovery and learning for kids, spelled wrong?
2007-01-10 08:35:00
Who doesn't want to work today.... :) And my life having an 'A'....i was expecting to fail here...i kinda went with the Purity Test way of answering
| YOUR REPORT CARD: | |
| Category | Grade |
| Love | A |
| Friends and Family | A |
| Body | A+ |
| Mind | A+ |
| Finance / Career | B |
| Your Life's Average Grade: A | |
| 'What is your Life Grade?' at QuizGalaxy.com | |
2007-01-10 15:25:00
I love life! Like couldn't be better!
The sky is blue and wonderful and you can almost feel the new life waiting to arise from the soil in springtime!
I figured I should get some bright spots before delving into my normal state of meh. So last night at rehearsal, which is a freaking blast btw, I found out that the lead guy, David, plays the violin and guitar and sings and has for ages, Annette speaks beautiful Russian and also sings, a few people play the recorder, people could harmonize while they sang, and i walked away thinking that i have no extraordinary talents whatsoever. I didn't even feel like I acted well. (I did have some kick ass suggestions for the director) I know there have been lots of things I have wanted to do, learn a language and the piano (but really I want to learn bagpipes) but I seem to end up, now, home alone and reorganizing my bills and papers for the umpteenth time. (I am also surprised that 'umpteenth' was in my dictionary...)
This is just a rough day as was 'voiding from the other end' all day yesterday and still feel odd. I am spending every waking moment contemplating the past and the future and trying to get comfy in an empty bed. My heart falls numerous times throughout the day over everything, Ireland, coasters, smiles, Xander and it's just an amazement that I can bullshit my way through everything here at the office while in the doorway i stand, my world crumbling around me. Apparently Green Day makes me super melodramatic. Hmm.
But I am going to the gym three days a week and reading and going to get more involved in some service organizations. Will lose 20 pounds. Somehow. sigh.
Damn you Josh Groban. Sigh.
Doing ok on the stop smoking front.
2007-01-10 21:09:00
What is it about Firefly that makes it feel like home? I am watchong the series again, along with Ky, and its just odd to have a show where everyone feels like family and friends and makes me whish that we could have more of them.
2007-01-10 23:05:00
I don't know what it is about The Little Mermaid that I love but it's such a good movie. I also just passed the "Poor Unfortunate Souls" song and man that things sends me into instant fag mode. Had I been able to actually move around my floor, clothes and dogs and computer parts are currently in the way, I would have motioned everyone of Ursula's moves. I also love Pat Carroll, the voice of Ursula, having seen her in Nunsense years ago at Ford's Theatre.
That's all. i'm just really really gay when i hear that song.
2007-01-11 08:44:00
fagalicious!
Maude is coming to DVD March 20th!
The moment of surrealism and dandy brought to you by the letter Q.
2007-01-11 09:32:00
Dee dee dee
Im in a good mood today. Don't know if you care. Had a pleasant dream last night and though painish it was good.
Don't want to work. So instead I went to Joss Whedon's site and found Nathan Fillion and Jewel Staite's myspace.com sites. In reading them, i found out that Nathan is a mac freak and went happy over the shiny new iphone.
jewel is ... well so damn cool.
And I went to http://www.quantummechanix.com and ordered replicas of the money used in Serenity. I need help. The also have a 20" fine ass replica of the Serenity ship coming. Shiny.
I need to go walk and not think about bread, sugar, anything fun, smoking or serenity. sigh
2007-01-11 16:27:00
my boss just asked me about my relationship. I just find it sweet when out of no where she asks about that and she's a 60 ish stright woman. just made me smile because you could tell that she really cared.
2007-01-12 21:05:00
sister act is on. it's friday. im home. sigh.
ahhh nuns
2007-01-16 14:42:00
i really need to clone myself. if for no other reason than I could kill myself for being a dipshit.
Weekend was goodish. Did the staged reading of The Night Thoreau Spent in Jail at Cedar Lane. For only three rehearsals, I think that we did a really good job. You know me, so I felt like i was Brett on stage being Brett and not the character I was trying to be. But that's neither here nor there. Little old ladies were still stopping me as I stood after the show and said it was good. Meh. The people were really nice and I have made some new friends though it. And lots more contacts. Always good. Probably going to do another staged reading in a few weeks.
Didn't have a chance to make to other parties where it looked like a lot of RM's were having quite a good time. Sorry I missed that.
Went to the gym and that seems to be going on track and well.
Today is day 7 of no smoking. That looks like it's going to stick as I made it through a show and didn't need to smoke.
Slept like crap last night. Intestines are unhappy today.
blah blah blah crap
2007-01-16 14:56:00
This is just one of those days where i need a little Dolly.
2007-01-16 22:17:00
Oh my god.
obviously if you can read this, well first pat yourself on the back for getting the hooked on phonics tapes, you know this doesn't apply to you. Or maybe i've fucked my friends list or something... anyway...
I have always been the ear to eveyone on the fucking planet but recently it seems like I have a low tolerance for all this crap. One friend is annoyed that his bf isn't worried enough about the other's back surgery that's 4 months away, people begging for time to hang out and bemoane how crappy their life is and all that ... blah blah blah but what gets me is that NOT ONE of these people gives a rats fuckall about anything in my life. Things have been pretty shitty but I never get the chance to talk and it's not like they don't know about it. I've always liked the whoe spectrum of friends from someone to cry with to someone you wave at in the clubs but i really need to cut some of this shit out. I can think of 6 people to block on my aim list that bug me. I know, why don't I tell them my feelings and all that crap but as people have noticed I tend to have problems with that. Now I have people making me hate the thing I love about friends, sitting and talking and listening and helping. I love helping. Now i want to help them end their miserable petty lives. Sigh
So along with stopping smoking, looking for a place to live, going to the gym, putting my resume out there to make more money, i'm going to try and shuck some stupid friends from my life.
I'm gonna cut this to sound less stupid.
Again, if you can read this, i love ya, you rule, y'all.
Maybe it's the stopping smoking talking.
2007-01-17 10:07:00
I love ATHF. I am sofa king we todd ed.
2007-01-18 09:06:00
Major credit cards upping your APR to 32.34%, crazy you say? Not according to chase.
Bally's upping my rates?
It was hard getting out of bed when I didn't get more than 2 hours of sleep.
2007-01-18 11:52:00
going to Five / Chronos tonight. Anyone else?
2007-01-18 14:41:00
Zuul
2007-01-19 10:20:00
Just watched the The Old World dvd here at the office because I am trying to do nothing all day. The plan is failing but oh my god watching the DVD had me laughing out fucking loud. That was a fun experience. And a very well made dvd.
2007-01-25 09:04:00
I don't know how many people watch CNN but this made me laugh yesterday. I was looking at this reporter, kinda fugly kinda just a mess, and then the comparison hit me. You really have to see he rin person for it to really hit. Her name is Dana Bash.
2007-01-29 13:28:00
i'm fucking tired
had some of the most incredibly dreams over the weekend. it's the first time that I have had a dream follow me for a few days. I remember last night when i woke up to pee, i remembered that the dream i was having, i was in before. But it wasn't the same dream, it was like a continuation. it was fun. At this point I can't remember much but there was lots of greenery and whatever the sensation you get when you stand in the clean air and breathe as deep as you can. There were also a lot of friends there from the past. I believe there was a house that I was renovating, because I have so much experience at it, and people were there to help, or dance and drink. There was dancing and drinking.
family friend had a stroke over the weekend. he's almost 70 but the coolest guy. fences and taught combat to movie studios. they dont think it's that bad but we are waiting for info.
money sucks. i just paid my bills till the 12th, most of the majors, and man I am poor. Like honestly back on raman and water poor.
life really sucks.
today is day 20 of no smoking. thankfully my anger at myself and the universe is keeping that no smoking thing alive.
2007-01-30 08:14:00
gay dream
I was so tired last night that as I looked for Tylenol PM to make sure that I didn't wake up, i felt silly. Sadly the pills had expired February last year and me being crazy didn't want to risk taking them. But I did sleep. And here is my dream, at last the pieces that are left.
I was at Six Flags Magic Mountain and I was on one of the rides that passes over on of the stages. They were apparently trying to rehearse High School Musical: The Stage Show or whatever and on of the leads was sick and unable to preform. i got off the ride and joined the rehearsal and me and the male and female leads began doing this number. Then it was show time and the male lead and my self were doing the number from the basketball court. I didn't know all the right moves but muttered through well enough to continue the tour. It was fun as hell and there i was on stage doing all these dance moves and stuff. I secretly always wanted to be a dancer.
2007-01-31 14:11:00
"Been watching a lot of television lately.
Saw Freaks (1932). This was a spectacular film. For years I had wanted to see it but never did because I had this fear of things grossing me out or making me sick. And this movie certainly has some disturbing images and freaks in it. I spent lots of time looking at this things and wonderig how in the hell they were alive and why. But beyond all that the movie is amazing. Yes it's shocking but the direction is incredible and claustrophobic and exciting and for a 75 year old movie to keep the suspense is amazing. I think this may have to be a film to own.
Mr and Mrs Smith. I had wanted to see this for a while since a movie with Brad Pitt and Angelina Joile is just plain hot. After seeing this on cable, I really enjoyed it. I went it knowing that there was going to be nothing to it and that it was be guns and fights and that was about it, and I got it in spades. Totally impractical but they played it a sense of fun and it was a good two hours. After reading about it afterwards i want to get the unrated version and see if the alternate endings are on there. Fun and silly.
Grey Gardens (1976) I've had this DVD from Ky for some time now and I just never had the time to sit and get into it. Saw it last night and at first I had no idea what the hell was going on. I didn't know if I should be sad or happy or depressed by what I was seeing. It's a documentary on the Beale woman who are cousins to Jackie O and live in squalor in this falling down house that is infested by cats and raccoons and god knows what else. Firstly it was amazing and I was hooked as these cameras just follow Edith and Edie around the house and Edit takes care of her mother. Watching how her mother manipulates her and talks down to her was so painful. It as fascinating and off and sad and funny and painful. Great movie. Truly amazing.
Obviously i have nothing fun to share at the moment."